Vera
December 3, 2004
Note:
(This evening I will commence with an idea that has been presented to me through
Michael's school. It is being given to you to use as a format for presenting a series of
classes related to my project on the bluff [the Healing Arts Center]. World peace means that people must be healed and
must be able to create the life they want without interference from someone else.)
The United Nations is in a predicament now. It has been wedged into a corner, and Kofi Annan
is presenting his ideas without regard for the people. It is as if he started an idea and
its ultimate conclusion is ignominy. The end of the United Nations is on its way, and you
will see this shortly. I have been watching the events from the spiritual side and I see
no way that it can last. (To Karen: When you told me that it was over... I see now what you
meant.)
The first thing to understand when you are dealing with the Sin of Gluttony is that there
are several ultimate conclusions based on which fear is involved — fear of loss and death —
and the corresponding belief structures related to how an individual chooses to compensate.
If there is a fear of loss in an individual, from a relationship with a parent, or a sense of
insecurity because of being wedged between a loving parent and a very stern one, this can
lead to a dependence on food to make himself or herself feel better, and then the sense of guilt
corresponds leading to a sense of lack. This leads to binge eating and purging, and you can
see how it can lead to bulimia.
Tonight our class relates to the fear of death only, and how an individual could feel
a sense of lack of being able to create the life [he or she wants]... a lack of compassion and
a lack of capacity... a lack of fulfillment of purpose... a lack of ability to do what you want to do.
There are many, and they pile up into a log-jam, this ultimate conclusion which
is pancreatic cancer.
I would like to talk about how it begins, speaking from personal experience.
An individual starts out with the idea that he has the capacity to create the life that
he wants, but a traumatic experience comes along. It is usually a sibling rivalry kind
of idea if a parent goes out of his or her way to compare the children and their capacity to do
different things. Now, this is not so obvious, for example, if one child loves music and
another sports, should there be a comparison when one seems to receive or to gain the
parent's love and admiration and the pride, and another feels a sense of shame because they
cannot match up to or compete with the other child. It is when there is a comparison, and
one gets more credit and the other gets none, and then it becomes a sense of belief that,
as this is played out over and over again, that he truly does not have the capacity to create
the life that he wants.
Food plays an important part in this, from the idea that there can be binge eating — or in
the Sin of Gluttony, oftentimes it is the denial of capacity to have it. Starvation can
lead to this. I would like to remind you of Karen Carpenter and how she was bulimic and
anorexic; she denied herself the capacity to eat. This did not lead to pancreatic
cancer, but is the idea that she had a great abundance but she also was compared quite often
to her brother and other siblings so she compensated by denying herself food. Sometimes
it can come when the individual who is bulimic or anorexic denies himself or herself the capacity
because he has been favored, and other times it is a rebellion against the one who has
been declared the favorite. You see, there are many factors involved. Food plays an
important part in someone's life.
The final stage is when the individual becomes ill with pancreatic cancer, and it reaches the
culmination point when they feel they have been attacked over and over and cannot defend themselves.
That idea is created by the parent when they are made to behave and are made to wear a smile
on their face all the time. Back during the Depression, life was very hard for people. The idea was,
and even songs were written about it, you always kept a cheerful face, you always maintained your decorum,
you always kept a tight rein on your emotions and were never allowed to express them in any way.
The anger associated with attacks comes back to the part of the body to create this imbalance.
Say, for example, you are a queen or ruling monarch who must maintain a level of decorum. A diplomat must keep
a straight face. Then, say, for example, you are placed in a set of circumstances where life becomes
very difficult and you no longer go forward the way you would like. Here you have an idea where you
are frustrated by people who are expressing their frustration or anger and would like to express their
emotions, and from the belief structure that says you can't express your emotions, you rely on food.
Pancreatic cancer individuals are oftentimes diabetic; they have used food as a tool to make themselves
feel better, but in the final stage, when you are on insulin, food can no longer make you feel better.
Kidney failure comes from not looking at issues. Food issues of denial or eating too much... In other words,
food becomes an issue, but also the capacity to apply your capabilities is no longer there. It is as if there
is a three part concept that all come together, and it lodges right in the solar plexus of the body.
The center of the stomach, where the pancreas is, relates to the opening between you and other people.
If you suffer a crushing blow to the body, this is where you feel it. Having the breath knocked out of you,
for example, is felt right there. The solar plexus is the weakest link related to your connection to other people —
your relationships with other people. Your pancreas relates to compassion... it relates to the "sweetness" of life,
the ability to function to capacity, the ability to savor an experience or an event or a relationship. You could
even say intimacy, so that is the part of the body where you are more likely to first put on weight for many
people. The belly is the part of the body that when you are holding onto something it becomes fatter. You see,
the center part of the body is the connection to many things.
I would like to remind you of one thing. Evelyn will talk about fear, and the fears
associated with this topic tomorrow. In my next lecture I will go on with the concept of
how to heal pancreatic cancer and how to draw toward you the experience of creating the life
you want on the "other side of the door" of cancer, and what to do if you are diagnosed
with it.
So be it and so it is.
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