Vera and Evelyn
January 14, 2005
Pancreatic cancer comes from a combination of belief structures, and like a log jam, all come together to form
a solid structure that is nearly impossible to get around unless something occurs that triggers a change — when
an individual is facing his demise, or occasionally when someone's life is in great enough balance, or he also has a
belief structure related to the idea of getting his affairs in order — and this is what we will talk about today —
that is, how you step away from those three belief structures.
In my last lecture I spoke about the fears that accumulate related to compassion, related to the capacity to create
the life you want, and also to the idea of having to maintain a sense of decorum or etiquette or polite face that breeds
a sense of anger so that if you can't overcome these ideas, you might begin to strike out at someone. You might feel
that since you are going to die anyway, what does it matter? You will have your say. And those individuals who
feel so overwhelmed that they don't have a say, cannot go forward and they pass away. If you, say, have
encountered someone in their life who is very violent... an individual
you have been nurturing, and that child, or whoever, repays you by attacking, because he has had some sort of a
traumatic experience in his own life and is blaming you for that... if you resolve that conflict, you can walk forward.
If you speak and confront that individual, the issue is resolved. Today, let's talk about the concept of
resolving issues and how that can change your belief structure enough to enable you to walk forward.
Before the cancer started in the body, an event occurred that started you off track. You could say, when this
event occurred and you dwelled on it, it triggered a sense of frustration — an event that you couldn't let go of and
it went around and around in your thinking. As you ruminated over it, you lost energy in that area of the body.
That energy became part of what you were focusing on, and you were putting all your energy into that individual or
event. The energy that you lost became like a deficit in you. This was a low spot in your energy body. As they say,
"a boat is a hole in the water you pour money into," well, you could say that cancer is an event that you
pour your energy into. Your body begins to reflect this concept.
Things occur first on the spiritual level and then the mental level and then the physical. But let's back up
for a moment and look at why something would occur first on a spiritual level and then the mental and then the physical,
and why cancer would be something that would start on a spiritual level, because aren't we all perfect on the
But first I would like to digress a moment and look at why traumatic events occur in people's lives. Everyone has the
capacity given to him or her by God, our Creator, to create the life we want. Everyone is given every opportunity,
but, you could say that cancer is a test to see if you are ready to go on to create that life. Those who can overcome
this problem go on to create their life. How many people do you know have gone forward, like the Mothers
Against Drunk Drivers, for example, or the physician whose daughter drowned and he came up with the idea of
CPR, or the man whose son was abducted and murdered, and he started the organization to find children who had
been abducted, and if they had been murdered, to bring the perpetrator of this to justice? So you see, traumatic
events don't necessarily cause you to lose your life. It is just that you have an idea about the life that you
would like to live and you don't believe you can get it. This event can be seen as something that can actually
help you get the life you want.
Say, for example, you were happily married to someone for many years and your spouse passes away, and deep
in your heart you know you can't be happy unless you are reunited with that individual. Oftentimes people who have
been married a long time join their spouse on the other side because they don't see any reason for being here
anymore. People oftentimes pass away within a very short time span under those circumstances. So you can see,
it's not necessarily that you would like to stay in this realm or dimension. The idea of death or crossing over can also
mean that you are getting the life you want, if you feel you can't get the life you want here. It is a choice for some
individuals that they no longer choose to be here.
Going on from this, if you do plan to stay in this life, but this event has occurred in your life, perhaps
there is another reason for this, and the life you are choosing isn't necessarily the life that you were meant to live.
Say your belief structure says that in your heart you would like be a movie star or on the stage, but you have a
stutter so you don't believe you can go on to create that life, and you get a job with a travel agency. (This is just a
far-out example.) Travel agents have to meet the public, also, and so as you stutter along, you come to the
realization that working with the public is not your capacity at all, and so you retreat further and further from your
goal. The frustration is that you can't even be a travel agent! The truth of the matter is, the capacity to be a
movie star is not necessarily hindered by your stutter. If this is where you were meant to be — to strive to
overcome the defect in the first place — and to do that you needed practice gaining your speaking skills
and the confidence at working in the public. As you do so, you take several steps or stages to overcome this and
to find it is possible. It is not that you retreat further and further from your goal; it is that you strive to overcome the
obstacles. No obstacle is impossible to overcome.
I will digress a bit further and then I will come back to explain about the life that you want.
The idea is not only that you must strive to follow the dream that is in your heart and work to overcome every
obstacle, it is that if you fear from these traumatic events that you can't get it, you will sabotage any opportunities
that come along because it is not enough for you. If the cancer is in your body, and you believe that you don't have
the capacity to overcome it — say a doctor tells you that you only have two months to live — then you
will let go and not follow through. Many strive to overcome cancer, and there are many people who have done so
by refusing to believe that the doctors know what they want.
It is important to understand all these concepts before you can go on. In the next lecture Evelyn will talk about facing
your fears, and this is what it entails, so thank you very much.
I am Evelyn and I am here to explain to you how to face your fears and overcome pancreatic cancer.
The three fears that people face are fear of loss, fear of death and fear of failure, and the two fears that affect
pancreatic cancer are loss and death. The ultimate conclusion of any fear, if it is not faced — and I will talk
about that in a moment or so — the ultimate conclusion is that you bring towards you that which you fear.
When you run from something it gets bigger, but if you face it and look at it unemotionally and without judgment, it
all but disappears. The fears that relate to pancreatic cancer can also include fair of failure, but that is very
uncommon. It is mostly a fear of loss and fear of death, and that relates to what event triggers the situation in
the first place.
Most people with pancreatic cancer start out with a case of diabetes, and in my own case, when I
protracted pancreatic cancer, I was a diabetic. I took insulin. Speaking from experience, by daughter was raped
when she was a little girl and became emotionally unbalanced because she never told anyone what had occurred
until she was a thirty-five year old woman. No one understood what the problem was and so we couldn't deal with
her. She was only a young child when she was attacked by a family member. So you see, as she began to go out of
control, I couldn't help her to overcome her fear and mistrust of people. I had no clue what was going on so I couldn't
discipline her and I couldn't help her. She began to be, at times, violent. She would lash out at people and attack them
verbally, and occasionally slap people, and such. But what occurred to me is that I loved her as a child and was
repaid by violent behavior. Also in my family I had abusive relationships, and so this was a family trait, a "curse of the
generations" that we were dealing with. It is time for this to be healed. In fact, the purpose for me coming back is
for me to explain these ideas so that my family can understand and be healed through my teachings, and help others
at the same time.
The fear of loss relates to the concept that you can't have a relationship. Possibly you have loved someone
and gotten nothing in return. What occurs is that you give your love and it is not returned, even from someone like a
parent or a child or spouse who you feel should be able to give it to you but they can't. As your feelings are
hurt really bad and you ruminate on this, you begin to build walls, saying that you can no longer have it, and possibly you
are not worthy of that love or there is something wrong with you, or why should it keep happening to you? The cycles
replay, and until you change that concept and you are able to have the love that you desire, it is very hard to
overcome this. You can push people away — like my daughter did because she should have been able to trust that
individual who hurt her, and yet she couldn't, so she built a wall around her also to keep people
away, and that is why she pushed. It becomes a push-pull kind of thing as you build a
wall up, and you eventually reach the point where the wall is so high that no one can break through. You trust no one
any more. To heal pancreatic cancer, this must be overcome.
Pancreatic cancer is
considered to be genetic, and the reason is because the researchers have not yet learned that it is what could be
called a "curse of the generations" where the behavior is passed from parent to child. How can you be a loving
parent to a child that is totally out of control? Or how can you be a loving child when your parent has built up a wall
because they have been hurt by their spouse? I was wedged between these two circumstances, and I developed
diabetes because of it. Diabetes starts under stressful circumstances. You could say that being wedged between
two out of control individuals, three or more if you consider a dysfunctional family, you can understand how it can
As you go through these events, it triggers diabetes. You are relying on food to make you feel better. But the
food very quickly no longer works, and so you dive right into the idea of being sick to make it happen. How many
people had parents, and if you were out of control, you became sick and they would be kind to you before
they see-saw back and forth and go off to be their own selfs again, and go through their own traumas? The guilt
of what they do causes them to overcompensate. But by being sick, you can do this. But at that point the sickness
cannot help, and neither can the doctors, who are treating you for diabetes.
But then you are not looking at your issues, and so your kidneys become involved. The kidneys help to create
a sense of balance, and your family is way out of balance. Illness has not stopped this, food has not stopped this,
and because you don't understand that kidneys relate to looking at issues, you are not solving any problems. Then
you reach the point where you feel you can't get your life, and this is when diabetics cross over; when they have
possibly an insulin reaction. They take too much insulin as a way to overcompensate. It is not done consciously,
and I don't mean it that way.
Getting back to pancreatic cancer... you have not only the fear of loss, you also have the fear of death because
at the same point in time, this out of control parent is also possibly saying, "Why can't you get along with (or be more
like) this other part of the family?" who learned to find their trust somewhere else, who could possibly excel at
something. Vera, in her previous lecture, talked about how you feel that you can't get your life because of a
comparison to a sibling. You don't have the capacity.
Another thing is that financial problems can trigger it, and this is what occurred with me. I was on Social Security.
If you feel that you don't have the support of your family, and you don't explain to them that you are on Social
Security and you don't have what you need... it is a matter, possibly, of a bit of pride, and then if you have a credit
card debt or your financial situation is out of control because of your illness, that can trigger it, too. So you see, there
are several ideas. If you suddenly learn that it will take many years of poverty to pay off all your debt and you
won't ask others for help, how will you get out of your debt? You see, it a matter of not having the capacity to do
that. That is how this comes about. Oftentimes it is a family matter that is out of control. It is a financial matter
that is out of control. Where you don't feel you can ask for help. Maybe your family is complaining because they
don't have the money and they are looking for sympathy from you, and you just don't have the energy to help them
with it. That is what, you could say, are the fears.
For a moment I would like to talk about how to address the issues. In our next talk we will address
how to look at these issues and how to overcome them. I just want to tell you that it is possible to create the life
that you want by looking at these issues on an unemotional basis, and going through and creating the life that you
want — not the short-term life that you really don't want, but the full benefits relating to becoming a star.
So be it and so it is.